I received terrible news this week that amounts to me having to give up team sports for medical reasons. I’m not dying, but I can’t do things like run or use a ball glove, so I have to make changes in how I stay active.

I didn’t choose to bend this finger like this. That was at the worst. It’s more often around 30 degrees. The other hand has had it happen some too, but my dominant hand seems less affected for now.

I suppose that I will be able to sell much of my sporting equipment, which will reduce my clutter. I’m keeping my golf clubs as I’ll be able to do that, at least.

It’s a huge life change for me, but if I’m truly honest, past age 40, lower impact exercises are better for women anyway due to perimenopause and increased risks of bone loss issues.

What is extra upsetting for me right now is that I can’t even cry it out. I’m flaring so bad that I can’t produce tears to at least feel some relief from it all. I’m also worried that we won’t find a medication my body tolerates since most medications give me hives or worse. Of course, this could be a result of my immune system struggling rather than an actual allergy too.

Cue waiting for the specialist appointment to confirm exactly what it is and what to do about it, because this isn’t Sjogren’s. Sjogren’s is almost always secondary to another autoimmune condition and we think it’s likely Rheumatoid Arthritis.

I’ve spent this week grieving many of my plans for the year, but despite all of this, I think I can still have a pretty good life once we find what calms my immune system down.

Catch you on the flip side,

Rae